How can you help someone with BPD?
The first step you can take to help someone with BPD is researching more on the subject. Understanding the symptoms and challenges associated with BPD is a crucial step to effectively supporting someone with the disorder.
Acknowledge their emotions without dismissing them, even if you don't agree with their perspective can go a long way with making someone with BPD feel heard. This does not mean enabling them, be supportive while still holding them accountable for their actions. Sometimes it's hard specifically for me to see what I did wrong until it's explained after I've calmed down.
Setting boundaries is necessary, as someone who struggles with BPD I can come across as clingy but without someone expressing the need for space I cannot properly give it to them when needed. Clearly communicate what behaviors you are comfortable with and what you will not tolerate. This can help even in normal relationships.
Identifying triggers to what can set someone off is helpful. Unless you're close to me I will rarely ever share my triggers due to my own triggers being used against me in the past. Learn what situations or events tend to trigger intense emotional reactions.
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What to avoid when helping someone with BPD:
Understand that the outbursts may not be directed at you personally, but are a result of their internal struggles. This does not mean you aren't allowed to be affected by the outburst, you're still a human with feelings of your own.
Do not give ultimatums or threats. This can escalate situations and make them feel more insecure/paranoid about your presence.
Don't minimize their experiences or tell them to "just get over it".